


at your discretion

by peach_scones



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Acting AU, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), F/M, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Instability, Other, Out of Character, Post Game, Suicidal Tendencies, Suicide Attempt, body image issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:21:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25951330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peach_scones/pseuds/peach_scones
Summary: It felt good, sometimes it felt horrible.
Relationships: Shinguji Korekiyo & Yumeno Himiko, Shinguji Korekiyo/Yumeno Himiko
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	at your discretion

**Author's Note:**

> i started writing and just kept going `(*>﹏<*)′  
> i write these as a way to cope/vent sometimes and sometimes i can get a bit intense with my writing or whatever, please please read the tags before even continuing, i don't want anyone to be triggered by anything here. take care <3

“I don’t know what to tell you, I’m sorry.” 

Himiko looked at the floor in distaste, the words drilled into her head and rattled around for a little, only to be thrown up, leaving a nasty feeling in her throat. “Okay, thanks.” She walked off, pouting like a baby, dragging her shoes against the concrete. Her shoulders felt heavier than normal, as if something got dropped onto her when the nurse told her that she couldn’t see them. They’d be out in a few months.. Maybe weeks if she hoped hard enough. They’d text her as soon as they left, they promised, it didn’t matter, as long as she was able to see them. She’d wait another half year if it meant she _actually_ was promised a chance at reuniting with them. At this point it was a 5 out of 10 chance that they’d be able to see each other again. Nobody would’ve thought that the two who “hated” each other were actually “together” behind the scenes. Danganronpa ended months ago and everyone was still talking about it. It felt like even years from them nobody would fully forget. It was hard for them to cope with it, none of them really knew how to deal with the sudden fame that they all garnered, all other seasons lived for three months and died down until the next, it was always a pattern, why hadn’t that happened yet? Why hadn’t anyone forgotten about them? What was so different this time around? Maybe it was Tsumugi, but she was in the 52nd season, how come they just loved her now? Who did they love? Logging onto social media made her sick, it drew out a pit in her stomach; but she needed answers. 

#danganronpav3 

The tag was filled with Kokichi, mostly, why was he so special? What did he do that so many others didn’t? Was it him? Kokichi, Kokichi and Kaito/Shuichi/Gonta.. It made her sick how so many people “shipped” real people together. Didn’t they realize they could see this shit? Whatever. She shoved her phone back into her pocket and kept her head down, she didn’t feel like being seen.

It was a mistake to write her name on that damn piece of paper. It was a mistake to leave her house that day, it was a mistake that she even ran across Danganronpa in the first place. The only thing she never regretted was meeting them, Korekiyo was the most ethereal being, every time she was with them she felt disconnected from anything else that was going on in the outside world, it felt like when they spoke to each other; the world closed in on them and only they existed. Nothing else mattered but Korekiyo, at first she was hesitant to get close, maybe they weren’t as “broken” as their character seemed yet they still seemed to be troubled, stepping back and forth, being afraid of what their character got driven into. Originally, they got into an argument with Tsumugi and the rest of the writing team, they were left hopeless, they couldn’t change it at all. There was nothing that they could’ve done to change it. The episode aired, at first it felt like everyone was staying silent, processing it, and then everything burst into flame. They blamed Korekiyo, they called them a twisted disgusting monster that fucked their sister. They called them names and said that they made them sick. People started to threaten them, things died out after two weeks and then Tsumugi and the rest of the team began to take the hits instead. Filming had to resume, they couldn’t let this stop them, no matter how much of an inconvenience it was. Korekiyo was reluctant to speak to Tsumugi, yet they stayed on set until they finished chapter four's trial, just to keep her company. 

“Korekiyo?” it didn’t matter what label their relationship had. It was weird. It felt good, sometimes it felt horrible. It wasn’t because they couldn’t be loyal or because one got jealous. Sometimes the arguments were because of the fact that they kept trying to die, they kept trying to disappear from her and from everyone. Anyone. “Korekiyo?” She pushed their door open, the hinges were squeaky. They both said “I love you” more than once, sometimes they slept in the same bed yet they never set any relationship boundary down. They didn’t ask her to date them, neither the other way around. The floor was cold, like nobody had been in the room for months. She opened the bathroom door and it only opened halfway until it hit their body. Seeing your body and your face plastered all over the place wasn’t good for your self image, maybe it was for some people but for them it wasn’t. People commented under the pre-shoot photos, they said things like “Korekiyo is so thin 😱i wish i looked more like _him_!” “what does shinguji eat???????” “korekiyo looks like a stick~~~~~~~” nobody really knew how things like that affected them, nobody knew they were reading comments and staring at themselves wondering the same things, wondering why they looked so sickly. Sometimes they’d be stopped by fans on the street, they’d ask for photos and hugs. A lot of people told them the same things the comments said, sometimes they’d get home and sit in their bathroom texting her, telling her how horrible they felt about the words they had the audacity to say in real life. 

“I don’t like how they look at me”

“how do they look at u”

“I don’t know. They either look at me like I'm a freak of nature or a saint.”

Her text box blinked at her while she waited for them to type and send everything else.

“I hate it.”

“I hate this.”

“I hate how I feel all the time.”

She blinked back at it. 

“you make everything worth it though.”

“you’re the only good thing.” 

  
  


She called the emergency number, she didn’t know what to do, it felt like everything was crumbling from under her feet again. They were still alive, though their heartbeat was so slow you’d think the opposite. They got rushed to the hospital, she got questioned for a bit but the attendant got tired of her saying “I don’t know.” She slept in their bed after cleaning the bathroom, it smelled like bleach so she opened the window, the air came in and cleaned the bleach away for her. The blankets were cold and lonely. The attendant suggested she’d stay at someone else's house for the night but Korekiyo was the only one she had. Nobody had ever dared to get close to her like they did. Hugging the pillow tighter every time she missed them. Eventually she got up and left, it’s not like she could stay there forever. She texted their phone every night despite the fact that she knew their phone was shoved into a drawer somewhere, dead. They were in a mental health facility, trying to get their shit together after having 19 years to do it. There was no rush, plus they all ended up set for life, Danganronpa granted them insurance with the hope that they wouldn’t go bankrupt within their lifetime. Maybe they’d stop killing teenagers but all of them would keep their benefits. You can’t take back gifts, it’s rude. 

“I miss u”

“I'm tired i wanna see u again”

“This is bullshit”

“idk why im angry”

“Its not your fault” 

“I hope u r getting better”

“I hate everyone”

“I hate everyone else”

“I love u”

“why does this hurt so much”

“sry”

Eventually she stopped texting them. It was embarrassing to wake up to find those messages on her phone. She tried multiple times to visit them, she searched everything, every website, every phone number, every person. Nothing worked. They had nobody on their immediate family or friends lists, nobody was allowed in.

She asked Tsumugi to help her, Tsumugi gave her updates that were given to the insurance company they were tied to, at least now she knew that they were doing decently fine. The only bad thing was that they weren’t completely okay, they were still trying to hurt themselves and they got worse at one point, even worse than she knew they’d even been. They weren’t as bad now but it still meant they needed time to get better. It was almost guaranteed that she wasn’t going to see them for a little longer, either way, she really just wanted them to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> idk how to feel about this, i feel like i could've included more real-ish emotion but i would've just made it even worse :'D  
> it kinda went from a vent to just something somewhat disconnected o_o
> 
> anyway himikiyo writing machine go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i love them sm mwah mwah q(≧▽≦q)


End file.
